BASH your life!

01/16/2011 2:34 AM (#1475) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3edit.net

(19:33:10) GeorgeMots: I once got so hammered i woke up the next morning wearing a girls underwear and my face was covered in pasta

11/07/2007 11:41 PM (#6) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on IRC

sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I’m serious.
sweet17: I don’t get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren’t you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren’t
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKSHIT!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn’t you.
bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
sweet17: You don’t look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.
sweet17: You’re a fucking wanker!
sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.
sweet17: No you aren’t
bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I’m done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.
sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty
sweet17: You’ll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don’t know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I’m afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
sweet17: I didn’t say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can’t be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: …still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: …going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

One comment

12/19/2009 5:07 AM by Bartimaeus (#1430) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3edit.net chat

(2009.12.18 - 19:39:38) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) BART LIKES TO INVADE PRIVACY.
2009.12.18 - 19:40:03) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) WHISPERS ARE MEANT TO BE READ BY THE PERSON THEY'RE WHISPERED TO
(2009.12.18 - 19:41:18) FatherSpace: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) Bartimaeus doth be quite the noobeth.
(2009.12.18 - 19:42:07) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) SO STOP READING MAH WHISPERS
(2009.12.18 - 19:43:30) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) You're damn right it's none of your business!
(2009.12.18 - 19:52:08) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) I AM FLAMING BOOK OUT OF THE PRIVACY OF MY SELF!
(2009.12.18 - 19:52:31) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) ANYONE WHO READS THIS NEEDS TO GET A LIFE BECAUSE THEY BE MESSIN WITH MAH PRIVACY
(2009.12.18 - 19:52:52) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) LIEK FO SRS, YO! STOP REEDIN MAH PRIVATE WHISPURS
(2009.12.18 - 19:53:11) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) CAPS LICK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
(2009.12.18 - 19:53:15) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) Lock* :(
(2009.12.18 - 19:53:53) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) Rhingo Bingo Dingo! YOu who have read this is now cursed to be a noob for life!
(2009.12.18 - 19:54:02) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) NOOB FOR LIFE I SAY
(2009.12.18 - 19:55:47) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) The only way you can de-curse yourself is to spam your name in chat when a person with a green name containing the letters n u i n s d e s a a s d s x a in any order is in the chat room!
(2009.12.18 - 19:55:53) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) And you must not delete said spam!
(2009.12.18 - 19:55:56) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) OR ELSE!
(2009.12.18 - 19:56:02) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) RHINGO BINGO DINGO!
(2009.12.18 - 19:56:25) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) I definitely took one too many drinks today...
(2009.12.18 - 19:56:41) UndeadxAssassin: Bart's in for a nice surprise when he reads the chat log o.o
(2009.12.18 - 19:56:48) UndeadxAssassin: Granted, he's probably reading it now o.o
(2009.12.18 - 19:59:07) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) Hay Bart, if you're reading this..
(2009.12.18 - 19:59:37) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) You should totally pop in when I say "BARTIMAEUS, I SUMMON THEE FROM THE DEPTHS OF...California...COME HITHER!"
(2009.12.18 - 19:59:40) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) :D
(2009.12.18 - 19:59:56) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) I'll give you a while to read that o_o
(2009.12.18 - 20:00:01) UndeadxAssassin: (whispers to UndeadxAssassin) zzzzz
(2009.12.18 - 20:01:31) UndeadxAssassin: BARTIMAEUS, I SUMMON THEE FROM THE DEPTHS OF...California...COME HITHER!
(2009.12.18 - 20:01:35) ChatBot: Bartimaeus logs into the Chat.
(2009.12.18 - 20:01:37) Bartimaeus: I have been summoned, and so shall I come. What is your need?
(2009.12.18 - 20:01:38) UndeadxAssassin: ROFL
(2009.12.18 - 20:01:41) UndeadxAssassin: I LOVE YOU BART
(2009.12.18 - 20:01:48) Black-Hole: ROFL
(2009.12.18 - 20:01:57) Panda-Assassin: can i summon you bart?
(2009.12.18 - 20:02:06) FatherSpace: Bart, can you grant me 3 wishes?
(2009.12.18 - 20:02:09) Bartimaeus: No. Only my most worthy disciples can.
(2009.12.18 - 20:02:10) UndeadxAssassin: Holy crap that was awesome
(2009.12.18 - 20:02:16) Bartimaeus: ...No, UndeadxAssassin summoned me.
(2009.12.18 - 20:02:20) FatherSpace: What the hell am I if not that?
(2009.12.18 - 20:02:43) Bartimaeus: Undead summoned me - the guy in the next room doesn't get to make the wishes.
(2009.12.18 - 20:02:46) Black-Hole: Bart do you hate me?
(2009.12.18 - 20:02:47) Bartimaeus: lol
(2009.12.18 - 20:03:07) Black-Hole: Thats a serious Question
(2009.12.18 - 20:03:10) Bartimaeus: YES. I JUST HATE YOU. EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING IS DEVOTED TO DESTROYING YOU! ARAAAAAAGGGGGGGH

Things went downhill from there.

08/22/2010 9:49 PM (#1455) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on Web, wc3edit.net

zablex: Hmmmmmmm this is ... sum kind of shit >
zablex: oh and... why is my nick so blue
zablex: and why mod nicks're pink xD
FatherSpace: Why not?
UndeadxAssassin: Pink is amazing.
zablex: pink is gay
2Pac: It's not gay.
zablex: well not for girls
zablex: girls cant be gay
zablex: xD
Dekar: sure they can - only makes them hotter :D
2Pac: :D
UndeadxAssassin: o_o....
GeorgeMots: :D
zablex: XD
FatherSpace: Pink is also for manly men.
2Pac: well, no comment on that one, haha :D
UndeadxAssassin: Gay means happy ;o
zablex: Gay means rainbowz all teh day D:
UndeadxAssassin: Which is happy! xD
zablex: kindof

03/04/2011 1:03 AM (#1481) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on , Attellmavoiva

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11/16/2007 3:03 AM (#17) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on IRC

01:39:59 ‹GhettoChild› yea
01:40:02 ‹GhettoChild› i woke up one time
01:40:07 ‹Xantan› thats pretty messed up
01:40:16 ‹GhettoChild› sprinklers sparying all over me
01:40:20 ‹GhettoChild› i was so ****ing confused
01:40:43 ‹Xantan› lol
01:40:52 ‹Xantan› thats funny shit
01:41:07 ‹Xantan› someone spray you or something?
01:41:10 ‹GhettoChild› it scared the shit out of me
01:41:14 ‹Xantan› or were you like on someones lawn
01:41:18 ‹Xantan› i know
01:41:20 ‹GhettoChild› lol no in a field
01:41:25 ‹Xantan› itd be pretty funny to watch
01:41:30 ‹GhettoChild› like a park
01:41:32 ‹Xantan› lol
01:41:36 ‹Xantan› but yeah i'd be scared as **** too
01:41:46 ‹GhettoChild› lol yea
01:41:55 ‹GhettoChild› thought i was abducted then ditched by aliens or someshit
01:42:01 ‹Xantan› lol

One comment

11/07/2008 5:08 AM (#67) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on Web, RWP chat

       [Bartimaeus] 7:55 pm: Ack, almost swallowed a penny.
[IronCrue34] 7:55 pm: It upsets me though.
[IronCrue34] 7:55 pm: XD
      [3V1L L33T] 7:55 pm: How did you manage that, Bart?
[IronCrue34] 7:55 pm: Why are you eating money?
       [Bartimaeus] 7:55 pm: Um..
[IronCrue34] 7:55 pm: Put it in a jar, nao
       [Bartimaeus] 7:55 pm: IT'S A SECRET NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!
    [Bottles98] 7:56 pm: It's a secret to everybody
    [Bottles98] 7:56 pm: Let's play money making game
       [Bartimaeus] 7:56 pm: No, but really, for some reason, I like chewing on pennies.
[IronCrue34] 7:56 pm: my brother can ut 4 quarters in one nose nostril
    [Bottles98] 7:56 pm: Dodongo dislikes smoke
[IronCrue34] 7:56 pm: *put
       [Bartimaeus] 7:56 pm: (I wash them first, ofc!)
     [Princess J] 7:56 pm: XD
      [3V1L L33T] 7:56 pm: Why?
     [Princess J] 7:56 pm: Eastmost peninsula is the secret.
       [Bartimaeus] 7:56 pm: I dunno.
      [3V1L L33T] 7:57 pm: Eating pennies = Stop 'n Swop!!!
       [Bartimaeus] 7:57 pm: lol, they don't taste good, I know that; especially with all that
soap, XD.
    [Bottles98] 7:57 pm: Master using it and you can have this
[IronCrue34] 7:57 pm: They taste awful
[IronCrue34] 7:57 pm: I eat pens.
       [Bartimaeus] 7:57 pm: XD
       [Bartimaeus] 7:57 pm: Um, I do that too.
       [Bartimaeus] 7:57 pm: And then the ink spills all over.
       [Bartimaeus] 7:57 pm: And sometimes into my mouth.
[IronCrue34] 7:57 pm: oh no story time for me
      [3V1L L33T] 7:58 pm: That darn cat.
       [Bartimaeus] 7:58 pm: And now this penny is stuck between my teeth, -.-
       [Bartimaeus] 7:59 pm: That can't be healthy.
      [3V1L L33T] 7:59 pm: How are you talking?
[IronCrue34] 7:59 pm: anyway, I was thinking during a test, and chewing, and sucking on
the back of a blue pen..........needless to say, it ended up with me looking like I had just
eaten a smurf
[IronCrue34] 7:59 pm: Stained for a week
    [Bottles98] 7:59 pm: I chew headphone cords lol I have no idea why
       [Bartimaeus] 7:59 pm: My fingers are, not meh mouth, XD
      [3V1L L33T] 7:59 pm: Wish I had been there!
       [Bartimaeus] 7:59 pm: A smurf? XD
[IronCrue34] 7:59 pm: My teacher took pics
       [Bartimaeus] 7:59 pm: One of those blue creatures? XD
[IronCrue34] 7:59 pm: XD
[IronCrue34] 7:59 pm: And yes
      [3V1L L33T] 8:00 pm: He ate Smurfette...    
[IronCrue34] 8:00 pm:     
    [Bottles98] 8:00 pm: who hasn't?
[IronCrue34] 8:00 pm: :P
       [Bartimaeus] 8:00 pm: XD

07/04/2011 6:20 AM by UndeadxAssassin (#1494) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3

Humdah: I may admire your ass, but I will never find it attractive.

10/13/2010 4:26 AM (#1462) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3edit chat

(22:24:35) Bartimaeus: UNTIL ONLY HAS ONE L.
(22:24:37) Bartimaeus: I never realized that,
(22:24:44) Bartimaeus slits throat.
(22:25:08) FatherSpace: Owned.
(22:25:16) GeorgeMots: untill
(22:25:18) GeorgeMots: until
(22:25:21) GeorgeMots: >.<
(22:25:31) Bartimaeus: I've always been shortening it to 'till, but it's really 'til that I should be doing.
(22:25:40) FatherSpace: How long untill this is on open-bash?
(22:25:42) Bartimaeus: Darn my life

12/18/2009 8:03 AM by Bartimaeus (#1426) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3edit.net chat

(2009.12.17 - 22:55:57) Bartimaeus: Well, I'm going to bed. It's been a nice chat guys - feel free to say crap behind my back while I'm gone; you guys probably do, anyways.
(2009.12.17 - 22:56:03) Bartimaeus:
(2009.12.17 - 22:56:08) Black-Hole: Na
(2009.12.17 - 22:56:14) Black-Hole: That only ozza
(2009.12.17 - 22:56:19) Bartimaeus: Heh.
(2009.12.17 - 22:56:32) Black-Hole: You dislike me and yet im the only one that dosnt make mean statements about you
(2009.12.17 - 22:56:35) Ozzapoo: Cya
(2009.12.17 - 22:56:44) Ozzapoo: Lol
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:02) ChatBot: Bartimaeus logs out of the Chat.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:15) Ozzapoo: Let's say bad shit behind his back XD
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:21) Black-Hole: You can :p
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:16) ChatBot: Black-Hole rolls 1d6 and gets 4.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:37) ChatBot: Black-Hole rolls 1d6 and gets 4.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:39) ChatBot: Black-Hole rolls 1d6 and gets 1.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:41) ChatBot: Black-Hole rolls 1d6 and gets 1.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:43) ChatBot: Black-Hole rolls 1d6 and gets 4.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:44) ChatBot: Black-Hole rolls 1d6 and gets 6.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:46) ChatBot: Black-Hole rolls 1d6 and gets 3.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:48) ChatBot: Black-Hole rolls 1d6 and gets 6.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:55) Black-Hole: hmm
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:53) ChatBot: Bartimaeus logs into the Chat.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:55) Black-Hole: hmm
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:55) Bartimaeus: And Ozzapoo? I'm always watching.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:58) ChatBot: Bartimaeus logs out of the Chat.
(2009.12.17 - 22:57:59) Black-Hole: hi bart
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:02) Black-Hole: lol
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:03) Black-Hole: ROFL
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:08) Black-Hole: ROFL
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:13) Black-Hole: ROFL
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:18) Black-Hole: That was funny
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:29) Black-Hole: Hes watching you Ozza!
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:41) Kelvingts: Bart is standing beside me
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:50) ChatBot: Black-Hole is now known as (Aardvark).
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:52) (Aardvark): :p
(2009.12.17 - 22:58:57) (Aardvark): Lol
(2009.12.17 - 22:59:22) (Aardvark): Haha ozzas all quiet now..
(2009.12.17 - 22:59:42) Kelvingts: He was scared.

One comment