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11/07/2007 11:41 PM (#6) | Rating:      Click the stars to vote!
on IRC
sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I’m sorry. I’m just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I’m in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don’t fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I’m serious.
sweet17: I don’t get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I’m wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It’s kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren’t one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I’m not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren’t you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don’t want to send you the picture cause I’m not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren’t
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKSHIT!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What’s your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I’m looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I’ve lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I’m not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn’t you.
bloodninja: I’ll be damned if it ain’t!
sweet17: You don’t look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy….
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won’t get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn’t have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You’ve done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn’t hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can’t believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can’t believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
bloodninja: You’d break both of his legs.
sweet17: You’re a fucking wanker!
sweet17: I’ve been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don’t even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I’m sorry.
sweet17: No you aren’t
bloodninja: You’re right. I’m not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I’m done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I’m sorry.
sweet17: I’m putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I’ll eat your kitty
sweet17: You’ll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I’d eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn’t get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I’d like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I’m not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don’t know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I’m afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn’t that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won’t do it if you don’t want me to
sweet17: I didn’t say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp… you say “HARRRR!!!”
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can’t be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It’s my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you’ll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh …going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: …still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple…
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin…
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: …going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!
One comment |
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01/24/2011 1:20 AM by UndeadxAssassin (#1476) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on MSN, AIM
Deckharr 6:49 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mj0HDN82Pfo
that's so... weird O.o
Jenny 7:05 pm
That has to have bad side effects...
Deckharr 7:05 pm
she pretends it wouldn't have any
only half of the yearly dose or something
Jenny 7:06 pm
I wasn't aware I got any technectium in me at all...
Deckharr 7:06 pm
but the sounds the geiger counter made before - and makes after...
lol sure - me neither I guess XD
Deckharr 7:07 pm
at least not that weird isotope :?
but it sounds like a pretty uncommon element anyway
I liked when she spoke about how hard she irradiates everyone around her XD
Jenny 7:09 pm
I suppose I could say the same thing after drinking some barium sulfate
Deckharr 7:09 pm
I would shake peoples hands and then show them their increase in radioactivity :D
Deckharr 7:09 pm
so what is barium sulfate anyway?
Jenny 7:09 pm
You would probably start mass hysteria
It's just an ion that attaches itself to any active cell in your body and emits radiation
The radiation is picked up by a machine
Deckharr 7:10 pm
neat
I think I had something like that
Jenny 7:10 pm
They use it in PET Scans
But that's all, I believe
Deckharr 7:10 pm
was some stuff I had to drink and then they like X-Rayed me
don't remember it that much, but it tasted weird to horrible
Jenny 7:11 pm
Very horrible.
Deckharr 7:11 pm
it was white and I had to drink like half a liter
is it that stuff?
Jenny 7:11 pm
Lots of things are white, but generally BaSO4 is, yes
Deckharr 7:12 pm
also when it came out again it totally killed the toilet XD
Jenny 7:12 pm
o_o....
Deckharr 7:12 pm
I remember my mom being really angry about it
XD
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01/04/2011 4:37 PM by 2Pac (#1473) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, wc3edit chat
(16:34:22) Dude: Haha, WAIT.....Processing.... UndeadxAssassin's a girl?
(16:34:28) Hillo: nope
(16:34:32) Hillo: she's just pretending to be a girl
(16:34:34) UndeadxAssassin: No?
(16:34:34) Dude: lucky...:|
(16:34:36) 2Pac: it's both
(16:34:36) UndeadxAssassin: ^
(16:34:40) 2Pac: :D
(16:34:42) 2Pac: WIN.
(16:34:44) Hillo: and 2pac is old
(16:34:45) UndeadxAssassin: Damnit Pac
(16:34:46) UndeadxAssassin: Damn
(16:34:47) UndeadxAssassin: it
(16:34:52) 2Pac: HARR
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11/27/2007 4:08 AM (#22) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on IRC
<DeathStar> i have to flick my balls so the cum comes out
<DeathStar> fuck wrong channel
<DeathStar> ignore that please
<Draebor> haha
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10/16/2008 1:39 PM (#64) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on MSN
(13:02:37) Dekar: so, you reinvented the wheel... twice?
(13:03:40) ozzapoo: ..
(13:04:36) Dekar: you're the man ozzapoo
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01/20/2009 7:51 AM (#70) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on Web, http://www.schneier.com/
We used to quip that "password" is the most common password. Now it's "password1." Who said users haven't learned anything about security?
One comment |
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11/24/2007 10:41 PM (#19) | Rating:  Click the stars to vote!
on Real Life
your brains are made of kitty litter not even bitch litter
One comment |
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01/15/2010 0:37 AM by Bartimaeus (#1436) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on some other network, Steam Friends
Thursday, January 14, 2010
3:35 PM - [!?]GLaDOS: lol, get this
3:35 PM - {TS} Bartimaeus {TC&F}: hmm?
3:35 PM - [!?]GLaDOS: I was jamming along to a song on youtube
3:35 PM - [!?]GLaDOS: and I couldn't find the beat
3:35 PM - [!?]GLaDOS: so I was like "wtf" and paused the video
3:35 PM - [!?]GLaDOS: except the music kept playing
3:35 PM - {TS} Bartimaeus {TC&F}: O.o
3:35 PM - [!?]GLaDOS: I had opened the thing twice
3:35 PM - {TS} Bartimaeus {TC&F}: Lawl.
3:35 PM - {TS} Bartimaeus {TC&F}: Nice.
3:35 PM - {TS} Bartimaeus {TC&F}: Yeah, that might be a small problem...
3:36 PM - [!?]GLaDOS: would be why I was like "are there two beats, or is this just REALLY fast?
3:36 PM - {TS} Bartimaeus {TC&F}: lol
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11/29/2009 5:12 AM by Dekar (#1422) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on Web, wc3edit.net chat
(05:01:09) ]SouL][ReapeR[: My name's white. I feel so naked.
(05:01:14) Bartimaeus: lol
(05:01:21) ]SouL][ReapeR[: See when you got cheater status, you feel..
(05:01:25) Bartimaeus: I could make you pink...
(05:01:32) ]SouL][ReapeR[: That
(05:01:33) ]SouL][ReapeR[: is awesome.
(05:01:40) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Watch them be jealous of it though
(05:01:43) Bartimaeus: But I unfortunately don't have permission.
(05:01:45) Bartimaeus: ...
(05:01:47) ]SouL][ReapeR[: :(
(05:02:58) ]SouL][ReapeR[: In any case, when you're a cheater, you be wearing that $200 jeans man
(05:03:09) ]SouL][ReapeR[: When you're a mod, you..
(05:03:09) Bartimaeus: ...what about admin?
(05:03:19) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Play God.
(05:03:24) Bartimaeus: lol
(05:03:33) Bartimaeus: Done that - what else?
(05:03:40) ]SouL][ReapeR[: You get all the ladies
(05:03:48) Bartimaeus: I'm asexual.
(05:03:51) Bartimaeus: -.-
(05:03:52) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Hot
(05:03:55) Bartimaeus: lol
(05:03:57) ]SouL][ReapeR[: You get a mirror
(05:03:58) Bartimaeus: What?
(05:04:02) Bartimaeus: lol
(05:04:06) ]SouL][ReapeR[: a $8000 mirror
(05:04:10) Bartimaeus: ...being an admin is starting to sound really sucky.
(05:04:13) Bartimaeus: XD
(05:04:21) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Well
(05:04:23) ]SouL][ReapeR[: You get
(05:04:28) ]SouL][ReapeR[: um
(05:04:45) Bartimaeus: Hm.
(05:04:46) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Well the better question is
(05:04:48) ]SouL][ReapeR[: what don't you get?
(05:04:51) Bartimaeus: lol
(05:04:56) Bartimaeus: Well, what DO I get?
(05:05:00) Bartimaeus: Then I'll know.
(05:05:04) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Rights to talk to Dekar.
(05:05:11) Bartimaeus: I had that before.
(05:05:14) Bartimaeus: ._.
(05:05:19) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Well no one else does
(05:05:21) ]SouL][ReapeR[: I don't even have that
(05:05:24) Bartimaeus resigns.
(05:05:25) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Notice how he's silent
(05:05:29) ]SouL][ReapeR[: The moment I exit chat
(05:05:33) Bartimaeus: lol
(05:05:36) ]SouL][ReapeR[: He will explode with stories about how he wanted me gone
(05:05:39) ]SouL][ReapeR[: because he wanted to tell stories.
(05:05:41) Bartimaeus: ...so if I were to...say...kick you..?
(05:05:48) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Dekar will be like
(05:05:49) ]SouL][ReapeR[: FINALLY
(05:05:53) Bartimaeus: lol
(05:05:53) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Wall of text
(05:05:58) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Then the moment I log back on he afks
(05:06:05) Bartimaeus: XD
(05:12:39) ChatBot: Dekar logs out of the Chat.
(05:12:43) ChatBot: Dekar logs into the Chat.
(05:12:44) ]SouL][ReapeR[: See
(05:12:45) Bartimaeus: lol
(05:12:48) ]SouL][ReapeR[: SEE
(05:12:49) Bartimaeus: wb, Dekar
(05:12:50) ]SouL][ReapeR[: He logged back on
(05:12:52) Dekar: still not gone -.-
(05:12:52) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Not even speaking
(05:12:55) Dekar is afk
(05:12:58) Bartimaeus: XD
(05:12:59) ]SouL][ReapeR[: SEE
(05:13:05) Bartimaeus: Haha.
(05:13:20) Bartimaeus: I love how you twisted his words into an entirely new meaning, XD
(05:13:37) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Watch him
(05:13:39) ]SouL][ReapeR[: Dekar is back
(05:13:41) ]SouL][ReapeR[: when I exit
(05:13:46) Bartimaeus: ...
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09/27/2012 4:10 AM by UndeadxAssassin (#1503) | Rating: Click the stars to vote!
on Web, BGN Chat
(00:09:08) Matdas: or the "pantry" that i get my emergency milf from
(00:09:13) Matdas: milk*
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